Between the 2 kids to see who can make their mom pull out her hair.
One is not here yet (and he/she still manages to do that)
and other one, who has been here for little over 4 years, tries to act as if he has been in this world much much before we were here :-)
One thinks there is a massive playground inside and tries to play soccer, jumping jacks and somersaults, with little consideration for the little lady carrying him.
Other is busy making sure that when mom reaches home and parks the car, she enters the driveway in reverse gear and the car is parked with the wheels turned "thedha" (turned sideways) (** he is obsessed these days with where and how cars are parked). At other times, he is busy turning his own ride-on car upside down(and inspect some of the mechanics going in the rear of the car) and wrecking the lawns of the neighbours and claims the whole street in the neighbourhood to his own bike and his bike friends.
One has no other task during the day except to keep kicking me so hard I have to ask to calm down or to make me run to pee every half an hour.
And as for the other one,he has one standard answer when I refuse or don't give in to any of his tantrums "Mom, you are mean !!"
and me thinks: "Sure beta, that's why I am your mom!!"
I am still hoping that despite this kind of trailor, the movie ahead will still be worth watching
(and again hope is all I can do :-)
So, waht do all those parents who have already been through this phase say?
Does it get any better? Please say it does ..........
NOTE: I know, with this post I am going to get a lot of bashing from my male readers. But what you read ahead is the truth, as I have experienced it :-)
So, when god started creating the creature called MAN, basically his design was all okay kinds, but somewhere, when he was giving the finishing touches with all behavioral traits, some ratio got messed up and that creature ended up with one peculiar trait: they did exactly opposite of what they were told to do, and somehow the switch to this behavior gets activated sometime after the marriage.
Like for instance, tell them to put their towel on the stand after shower and it will everyday be found lying on the bed. Ask them humbly to check their pockets for any papers before throwing them in laundry and guaranteed, you'll find shreds of some paper in your machine next time you do the laundry.
So, in my house,one of the things that is the center point of our argument is our cordless phone handset. Yes, the mere phone. Husband dear doesn't like to use the cellphone a lot. But every time he uses the handset, he just ignores to put it back on the charger. And next time he needs the phone, the whole house goes up and down looking for that handset because some time it is found under the couch (because he was sitting on the carpet last time was talking on the phone) or another time it is found behind the bed.
And then, sometimes, while he is talking on the phone, the phone would start beeping because of low battery, so he would have to run to the pick up the fixed handset.
However, despite me nagging him most of the time to put the phone on the handset after talking, he very conveniently assumes that I would do that for him and continues to do the same.
But last week, I had to change this for better. So, as usual, after talking on the phone, he kept the handset on his side table.
Talked the next day again and put the handset on the same spot again.
Third day, same story
Fourth day, started talking to his brother on the phone, the phone started beeping mid way, so put the handset down again on the same pot and talked on the fixed handset
Fifth day, started making the call, but the phone started beeping at the start only. So put the handset again at the same spot, and used the cell phone this time.
Sixth day, he picked up the phone and then realized it was low on battery. so went and put it on the charger.
7th day made the call and then started putting the phone back again on his side table and suddenly noticed me noticing him (and me trying to control my laughter)
and all of a sudden, it all came back to him
And then he yelled "Tu kisi Debra se kam nahin hai (You are no less than any Debra (from Everybody loves Raymond))
The good thing is he didn't hear me saying "And you are no less than the Raymond, Idiot !!"
Yeah, but all this training of mine is going to be wasted as we are headed for a short trip to India tomorrow. Yes, the MIL is all waiting to pamper and shower all her love (through her food) to both her boys(yes, the BIL is also joining us this time there) and the grand kids
So I'll see you all after about 3 weeks. But I m sure I'll have lots of stories to share when I come back. This India trip is expected to be pretty eventful. I just have to wait and see how those events unfold.
Remember, I told you I had an interview last week. So after the interview, when I started thinking about it, something just struck me. These days these interviews are situational interviews where you have to give example of actual situations to explain how you acted and took control/handled the situation.
So, it appeared to me that I could have given them much much better examples and situations if I could use real-life stories from my day to day life.
Here, I am attempting to answer some of those questions, as I would have liked to:
a) How to you get requirements from a person who is very unclear/vague about what he needs.What tools did you use to facilitate? What was the final result?
My response: I have come across this situation on several instances actually. Like every evening, when I try to ask husband/son about what they want to eat for dinner, typical answers I get are "Anything/Something different/that one which you made last month(I don't remember what I ate this morning and they are talking about last month)
Some of the tools I use: Just ignore them (yeah, just cook whatever can be cooked in the shortest time and for which I already have ingredients in my refrigerator). Sometimes, just give them 2 options, either this or that and they just have to pick one.
And then, in some instances, serve them what they asked for, "NOTHING" yeah, just make a really tiring and sad face, indicating I am in no mood to cook, and if you really force me to cook, you'll have to eat something
pathetic. So, for the sake of taste buds and health considerations of all of us,we should better eat outside. Result: So far has been pretty positive, I mean we do eat everyday, so I guess that proves my point.
b) Explain a situation when you had to change your priorities to get something accomplished. How did it affect the original task?
My response: Now, again this happens almost everyday. So, in the morning rush, when everyone is trying to get ready and I am buy packing lunches and getting breakfast ready, in between of all that, a voice will start like "I can't find my socks, can you look for them?" I try to ignore that voice and continue on my mission (of getting everyone including me out of the house in time). But then another voice adds to that voice "Mommy, where is my bag and my red shirt and even Barney is hiding?"
So, I really have to shift gears, get back to 2 lost clueless souls and help them find their stuff and then rush back to the kitchen just in time before that toast decides to really stick to that "supposed to be" non stick pan, hmmph.... Results: Except for occasional over toasted toasts, my skipped breakfast and a little craziness at the start of the day, everything seems fine and we are out of the house, finally !!
c) Explain a situation when you had to really sell your idea and convince someone on a concept? What tools did you use? What was the final result?
My response: Now, even you would agree that convincing a 4 year old on something is the most difficult task. Specially when he gives arguments like: "I don't want to eat anymore because my tummy is saying don't send any more food" or "I don't want to take shower because I'll get wet"
So, in situations like these, I have to bring out my some special skills like telling him "Okay, let' send a message to the tummy saying that Aayush needs to grow big, so he needs to finish his dinner"
or the creative idea of "Okay, lets skip water and just use the soap bubbles to clean ourselves then." Results: I am getting creative everyday, with challenges like these.And you know who else is also getting smarter? My son, yeah he comes up with some other argument against my creative idea. We still have to see who gives up :-)
See, this interview, I am damn sure, I would have aced !!
As for the actual one which happened, I am still waiting, with my fingers crossed.
One of my managers never forgets to narrate this joke on every office lunches we go on:
"What do you call a person who knows multiple languages: multilingual
What do you call a person who knows 2 languages: bilingual
And what do you call a person who knows only language: American"
And given his seniority, all my colleagues, including me, are forced to fake a laughter every time.
But this post is not about an American or not, however it does have to do with the number of languages.
Before Aayush came along, the only kid I remember seeing grow up outside India was my brother in law's son. Born in India, he was there for about 2 years, where he was pretty close to his grandparents on both sides.
Then, they all moved to Canada, and slowly the kid, adapted to the new country, environment and most importantly language.
Pretty soon, the language he would interact would be English. In such a scenario, I clearly sensed the uncomfortable feeling and not so close interaction between him and his grandparents.
So, when Aayush came along, one thing I was determined to do was to make sure that he knows his language, or his "mother-father-dada-dadi-nana-nani-mama-mausi-bua" tongue.
Being the youngest kid on both sides, everybody wanted to hear him chatter and his innocent talks, and distance being already a barrier, I did not want language to be an additional barrier.
So I started interacting with him in as much as Hindi as possible at home.
Well, guess what, my only problem was that we did not have many Indian families in our neighborhood and the daycare-school he goes to had all-white population.
So I ran into situations like:
Aayush (to Andrew, on seeing his new car): mujhe bhi chalani hai yeh car !!
And Andrew looking at him questioningly as to what is he saying.
Or
Aayush (to his teacher, in the class): mere ko su su jana hai.
Obviously, teacher had no idea what he wanted and the result was a set of wet pants and very upset Aayush.
So, for a moment, I thought (and a lot of people around me also gave me this suggestion) that I should forget all this obsession about teaching him Hindi and just follow the rule "When is Rome, do as Romans do"
So, if you are in US, just let him speak Hindi.
But, as my husband says about me, if I am not convinced about something, I may act as if I am ready to do it but I just would not give it my 100% and make it work.
Hence, my obsession with Hindi was not over yet.
So, one day when I was picking up Aayush from his daycare, I had a little talk with one of his teachers and she said some thing, which just struck me. She said: "Parul, at this age, kids are like sponges. They will absorb so much that you won't believe yourself. you just have to give it some time"
And time and strategy is what I decided to give myself.
So, I picked 10-15 of the most frequently used words by Aayush and in my everyday life, whenever Aayush used that word, I took that opportunity to explain him the English as well as Hindi version of the word. And also that at home, he could use any of them, but at school, he should prefer the English ones.
So, I started with common words like milk, water, food, sleep, play, home, hot, cold.
And slowly,as he started talking more, I increased this list to include phrases and sentences.
And then our India trip happened. And that helped him so much. he heard everyone he met speaking hindi. He played all the games his mom and dad played as kids, made so many new friends in the neighborhood and on the streets, chased dogs and cows in the streets(and yes, I loved him doing it :-)
And it made him so much more fluent in Hindi.
By the time we came back here, at some time, I was starting to have concerns that now I'll have to enroll him in English speaking course, at other times, I worried myself thinking I was confusing my little kid too much in all this language
But, slowly, as his teacher had already told me so, it all started getting better. Aayush started realising the difference between words from 2 different languages and which ones to use where.
Now, I am proud to say that he is at a stage where he enjoys "A se anaar Aa se aam"
as much as "A for apple, B for Ball"
Both of these are his favorite poems:
Machli jal ki raani hai Jeevan uska paani hai haath lagao darr jayegi bahar nikalo marr jayegi
I am a little teapot, short and stout Here's my handle and here's my spout When I get all heated up, hear me shout Tip me over and pour me out
Obviously, this journey of mine has had its moments too, most of them really funny.
Like the time, when he saw a girl dressed in tank top and a short skirt, like this, his first comment was:
"Mummy, yeh aunty to saare kapde hi pehnna bhool gayee !!"
(Mummy, I think this women forgot to wear all her clothes)
Now, thank god that comment as in Hindi, so the clothes forgetting babe" didn't quite get my baby had just said !!
Or the time, when he saw this women on one of the workout programs on TV,
He yelled: "Oh chori !! Gir jayegi !!" (O Girl, you'll fall)
Or the time when he tried to teach me how to say an English word here
But in the end, it has all been worth it !!
After all, I can feel it when he wants to be the first to pick up any phone from India, to greet his Babaji, Amma, Nana and Nani with a sweet namaste (obviously when he is in a mood, else we can keep asing him to talk and he just wouldn't !!)
And before I sign off, here's the latest favorite song of my lil star !! (And it is real fun to see him trying to sing along with this song)
Do you ever wonder how much fun it would be if we could read the mind of the person we wanted to ?
I mean, just take a look inside that "upper compartment" of other people and see what kind of traffic is going on there? Wouldn't that be wonderful !!
I know, it would create a lot of chaos too.
I mean, imagine, my neighbor's wife going on and on and on about her "beautiful" garden and me thinking in my mind:"You call these teeny tiny leaves and purple flower beautiful? I have hundreds of them in my garden?I call them weeds here :-)"
Now, if she has the ability to read my mind, I will have to force my mind to even think good !!
Or my dumb manager telling me how to do the work and me thinking in my mind: "Someone dumb like you must have made you a manager, because you just don't deserve this position !!" And if he some how got the ability to read my mind, I would be looking for a new job the very next day :-)
In our day to day life, we do have "kind of" ability to read the minds of ones near to us (or that's what we think)
Like, my son, I know he got a lot of genes and looks from me.And when I say genes, not sure why, but the Big Guy above decided only to stuff him with those part of genes which made me throw really bad tantrums when I was growing up or doing things I was not supposed to do. (you better believe me on this, my mom can vouch on this behavior of mine)
So, now, when my son throws a tantrum just when I am getting late for work, I know exactly what and how he is thinking, and what I can say/do to pacify/engage/divert him
So, while we are on this topic of mind reading and "what ifs" enjoy this song too :-)
Men will always be men. Trying to grab every opportunity to not do the work or do it in such a way that the wife can never dare to ask them again. Read it if you don't believe me.
Me: I have to do laundry in a while. Can you please pre-soak some of Aayush's clothes? S: Can't you do it after you are done with the breakfast? Me: (Giving him the look) S: Okay. What a waste of Sunday. Anyways where is the laundry detergent? Me: It is there on the shelf, in a dark blue container.
(I then wait for 10 minutes to get an acknowledgment that he did it. Otherwise, I know I have to go and remind him again.Because you never know, what BIG thing could have distracted him on his way from living room to the bath room) (And I don't see him for 20 minutes) and just then he comes out with a confused look on his face. And I am thinking: O boy !!
S: What kind of detergent did you buy this time? It doesn't lather up at all. What good is a detergent is it cannot lather up at all? Me: Why what happened? S: I kept on adding more and more, but it did now show up any lather.And what brand of detergent did you get his time? CUDDLE Soft? Do you even know if it is any good? Me: Yeah it not good, because it is not a detergent, IT IS A FABRIC SOFTENER. S: What? They should say it on the bottle. And you said it was the blue bottle. Me: Yes,there is a blue bottle of detergent too. Only if you could see it carefully and read the label. S: hmmmmmmmm... such a complicated task !! you should better do it yourself. Me: Men, men, men, men,manly men !! (singing the "Two and a half men" tune)
As soon as I saw this post on IHM'b blog, I knew I had to write about it.SRK has been the biggest crush of my life.I used to watch his movies N number of time and till today I can lipsync the dialogues of all his movies Oh, and did you noice the name of my blog? (wink, wink :-) All the walls in my room in the hostel were covered with his posters!! Me and bulbul(my SRK fan cousin) once got into fight with other ppl in a movie hall for KKHH because we were repeating the dialogues with Rahul, Anjali and Tina. And then on one of my B'days at BHU, my classmates actually gave me a big postcard of SRK along with Karwa Chauth books :-) They really were concerned about my dedication for him. Some of them wanted to take care of Gauri for me but am COOL with her being there, for his sake !! My SRK craze was at peak even after I got engaged.. See, I was actually hoping he would come in the middle of my saat fere and somehow my groom would have to hand me over to SRK (Just like in KKHH)Alas, it never happened :-)But my Mother-in law was kind of bugged off with non stop SRK obsession. So she said to me once: "अब ये शाहरुख़ का नाम लेना बंद करो . अब सचिन के बारे में ही सोचा करो !!" and I said (obviously to my mom only): "woh to sari zindagi karna hai !!"Huh, those were the days.I still love him, actually like him, a lot !!He is Still my hero And yes, I still watch DTPH, KKHH, DDLJ, K3G, RNBDJ whenever I get a chance. Dil se ...
