Time capsule

Dearest Aayush,

This is the first letter mommy is writing for you. But then, bitto, you just have started learning to read, so I just wanted to wait till then :-)
So today is your B'day and you are going to be 4. A big boy, as you have been saying !!
Gosh, it seems just like yesterday, when you came into my life.
You came into my life when I was defeated on all fronts and I had almost just given up. And can't express how your arrival brought a new light in our life.
Gave a new meaning to the concept of "us" in life.

But, see all these years of our togetherness haven't been without the share of ups and downs. But, that one li'l smile of yours or sweet cooing of yours kept us going. I still remember I beat myself up so badly for such a long time everytime you were not well, with the guilt of being responsible to bring you in this world a little early.

Over the last 4 years, we have achieved so many milestones together. But today I want to talk about the lessons of life which you taught me. Yes, that's true, you my "now I am a big boy" have given me some big lessons in small innocent talks of yours
Like the time, you asked me "Mommy, Why do we have friends?" And I tried my hands at explaining by saying "We have friends so that we can talk to them, play with them and share with them. "
And your instant reply came: "But mommy, monkey and teddy and little doggy don't talk with me, but they are still my friends. They make me happy so they are my friends"
Yes, and there was a big lesson in that sweet little talk of yours.
Though I wonder, when and how does all this "samajhdaari" gets replaced with tantrums and zid when I really want you to do things.
Similarly, I remember the time when your dad got sick and we had to rush him to ER. It was just me and you to take care of him when he was suffering with unbearable pain. You just sat next to him holding his hands. And when the doctor came and took him to the room, you said "As long as I am with daddy, he is going to feel better, right?"
Great going, kiddo !! Don't ever let this innocence and love for your dad fade away. One thing I am going to confess to you (shhh... don't even think about telling this to your daddy): You dad is a much better dad to you than I have been a mom to you.

Me and dad used to play this little tricky game with you where we asked "Aayush mummy ka bitto hai ki Papa ka?" and your innocent response would be "Mummy ka bhi aur papa ka bhi". So once I said, "Aise nahin, you have to choose one, either me or daddy" And boy, did I anticipate your response "Lekin mummy ke saath school jana acha lagta hai aur Papa ke saath school se wapas aana acha lagta hai"
Keep it up dude !! Know your priorities and interests and keep the right parties happy :-)

And you know what, now you are at a stage where days are spent chasing, nagging, running, playing and "trying" to discipline you. So, pretty soon, all these small incidents will get lost under the dust of those so called big things.
But your mom, as crazy as she is, she likes to treasure small things.
Like the first bottle you drank the milk from, your first set of clothes/toys, your hospital bed sign, dates of your first smiling, crawling, sitting, standing, walking and many more.
so I am putting all these memories as a time capsule in this blog.
When you are old enough to use a computer "constructively", do drop by and read these. I am sure you'll also have a smile on your face.

Happy B'day Son. Love to you today and always.
Lots of happiness to you today and for the years to come.

Love
Ma

Oh Boy !! July is here - Part II - Happy B'day Aayush

Here comes the most important B'day for July - July 28 - my own - as a mom, as mumma, as Mommy...
For my little Aayush.
The little angel came into my life as a ray of sunshine, as a bundle of joy, with bags of laughter and loads of smiles.
He was in fact in such a hurry to come to me that he put in a special appeal in God's court to see his Mom Dad early. And God said: "No kid !! Wait for a few more days"
But that naughty fellow crawled out of there and jumped right into my arms :-)

I still remember that day clear as crystal...
Me and S went to our work locations as usual
Had my regular checkup scheduled with my OBGYN in the afternoon
When I reached there, the doctor's office was full with patients. S had to return to his office for a meeting, so he got frustrated on seeing that the doctor's office had overbooked appointments.
For a moment, we thought "Let's just reschedule for tomorrow"
But then they called our name and we were in.

The nursing assistant started the exam and I somehow didn't like the look on her face.
She paused for a second and asked "Have you had any pain or any sensation"
And I said "I had a strange sensation last night. I am going to talk to the doctor about it"
And she just rushed to get the doctor immediately.
The doctor came back, took a look at the exams and said "We have to take you to the hospital. There is no fluid in the body"

And I was blank. Unable to realize what was going on or what was happening. Felt as if someone pulled the grounds off my feet.
And within moments, I was on stretcher and then in an ambulance rushing to the hospital.
Once at the hospital, the doctors were in a dilemma whether to deliver the baby so early or not. Finally after about 4 hours from when it all started, the doctors finally decided to deliver the baby.
In the delivery room, one of the nurses I had become friends with, asked me "Parul, what do you think it is, a boy or a girl?" And I said "It is a boy, That's what my heart says."
The nurse said "Oh, and I think it is a girl !!" Let's see who will be right !!

And then at 4:16 PM on July 28, here he came !! My life, my smile, my love, my soul !!
He came in this world to teach me so many things ...
to love without any condition ....
to smile without any reason .....
to dance without any music .....



Thank you my son for giving me the privilege of my life
For bringing back light into our lives...
For curling your fingers around mine to hold me...
for making me AAYUSHMOM

Love you my bittu
Dil se....