For it's (was) your B'day

July 10th: It is your B'day today, and you know how much it means for me. And more importantly, I hope you realise how important you are for me. It has never been in our blood, to tell each other how much the other one matters to us. So neither 6 of us, I think, have ever told how much we depend on each other or how much each person matters to us.Because, you see, deep inside, we are all broken and shattered for some reason or other and that's what has tied us all together.

Today, when I talked to you, something was missing from your voice. Can't pinpoint what, but there was something that was just not there. So, I decided to write, through this indirect medium, to tell you how much I care for you and how much you mean for me.
My memories are full of you and the other two: Right from those days of childhood which are etched in my memory. Whether it is the scene of 3 sisters fighting over who will hold the handle of the stroller holding their little brother on those lanes in Ranchi, and in that fight completely forgetting the stroller on the road.
Or those silly songs and games we used to make up just to make you giggle and laugh.
Or those tears when the school aayaah used to take you to the school and you used to cry uncontrollably
Or those rushed mornings to put your school books and homework in bag to make sure you get to school in time (which was just opposite the house)
Or checking your lunch box as you came back to eat that last one piece that you left for me
Or seeing the younger one beat up one of the neighboring kids just because he hurt you

Life has been pretty rough for each one of us
Not exactly the kind any of us would have wished for
We all went through phases we wished we can forget forever or got into decisions we wished were never taken for us.
But then, that is what is called life.
No, I am not telling you to just accept the way it is and go on it.
I want you to be the fighter and not just the survivor
I want you to be the change and not just the result
I want you to take the life as it is and make it the way you want it
And most of all, I want you to be HAPPY

And whenever it gets to the point, when it is just too much, remember these words:

“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” – Carl Bard

“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. it means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.” - Unknown

And then, always remember that there is someone far far away out there who cares for you in ways no one ever can and loves you a lot.You are in each of the prayers and wishes I sent across when I see a star, pray to him or just have a quiet moment by myself. And I see you and your childhood all re-winded to the start as I see Aayush growing up, reliving each moment that I miss so much. I see so much of you in him, almost everyday.

Here's wishing you the best of very best for you on your special day.
Not all that you ever wanted for you, but wishing that He gives you the strength and willpower to achieve what you want for yourself.
And that you are always surrounded by the ones who love and care for you.

Pic source: http://i671.photobucket.com/albums/vv80/orkutem/miss-you-brother-quotes5.jpg

Happy B'day, dear !!

If you want to make me cry at any time of the day, just take one name and I'll be all watery eyed!!

And as I am writing these lines, I am still trying to control my emotions

Yes, he is so special for me

He is a part of me, myself

so much so, that anything that hurts him, hurts me tens or hundreds times more !!

For me, he's still that little brother who, as a kid,  wanted to sleep holding my hands at night so that he won't get scared.

I still have a very clear memory of  those early days when you were so little.

Me, as a big sister wanted to take care of you all by myself

Whenever it was time for your sleep, I would put both my hands your eyes so that you could feel dark and fall asleep

Nanaji sent a stroller for you from Delhi. A stroller at that time was kind of unheard-unseen things in a place like Ranchi. So, in the evenings, all 3 of us (me including my other sisters) would put you in the stroller and take you for a walk. Now that's a different story that we 3 would start fighting in the middle of the road as to whose turn it was to walk the stroller now, leaving you in that stroller on the road itself. I know bhai, you still thank your stars that you survived despite having such careless sisters.

As you grew up, you were so fond of dressing up. You saw one of our relatives wearing a safari suit (with a cut in the shirt on the back) . And after deciding that you wanted a shirt exactly like that cut, you took the matters in your hand, took out scissors from mom's sewing machine kit and cut 4 of your shirts that way. Yeah, yeah, you were that "smart"

Papa and me were the ones who always took your sides and mom was the one who wanted to discipline you. And you knew that, so you showed all your tantrums while Papa was home and turned into a "jalebi ki tarah seedha" as soon as he left for work.

 Me and you were always one team, with R and S (my other 2 sisters) on the opposite team. In their terms, we were the "drama" team and according to us, they were the "joker" team !!

There used to be a serial on Doordarshan those days(I am blanking out on its name, pretty sure it was not Imtehann!!)  featuring Renuka Shahane and Ninad Kamat and Ninad plays the brother of Renuka. And because the brother is so attached to the sister, their dad says that after Renuka's marriage, her in-laws will get one additional dowry item - her brother.

And, so after seeing that scene, Mumma used to say the same thing for us too !!

"We already have one piece of item ready for you to take to your in-laws house, when you get married"

And it never happened. I went away first to a different house and then to all together different world !!

And it's your B'day today bhai and I am not sure what I want to give you today, probably these....

1) Don't always rely on your eyes and expressions to communicate what's in your heart. Because not everyone knows this language. Use your words also.

2) At the same time, learn when to use just words and not let your eyes and expressions do the work at all. This is also needed in life.

3) Love yourself. You are your own best friend.

4) Learn from your past experiences. Remember the lesson and forget everything else about bitter experiences.

5) We all need some body to lean on. So, when you are in stress, puzzled, or just confused, do reach out to the people who you know love you and you can trust.

6) Your relationships and your career are your biggest assets. Don't give up or compromise on either one of them for the other.

7) And last but not the least, don't ever take my calls when you are on the bike. Ignore them and I'll know :-)

And here's one song for you:
Love you and miss you a lot.

PS: Can't believe this is my 3rd post of the day. But then each one of them had a kind of deadline for today :-)