(This entry is kind of new experiment that I did today. I had an important interview today and part of the entry I wrote about before the interview to reflect on how I was feeling then and part of it was written after the interview to reflect on afterthoughts)
Confused and scared and anxious
that's how I am feeling right now
Can't even remember when I felt like this last
May be just before the final 12th class maths exam
Or that last big one that I had, in which I was so close
Or the time when the doctor was supposed to call me back with the results
And I was confused because I thought I was overconfident
Scared not to disappoint myself
Anxious just to be done with it, for once
so, I'll comeback after an hour and try to relive this moment and see how my feelings change
4 mins more to go
3 min more to go
Off I am for now
(To be continued after an hour)
And here I am back again
I am no more confused or scred
Anxious now to know how I did, did I get it?
I could have answered that one a little differently
What did they think about me?
I hope I asked all the right questions
and did not say anything stupid
And I also feel so stupid for feeling so confused and jittery at that moment an hour before.
There was nothing that I wasn't prepared for.
Isn't it fascinating how our mind plays games with us?
At one moment we are asking for something and as soon as that moment is gone, that "one" thing becomes less important something else becomes the desperate want of that moment.
And it never ends...
The cycle never stops...