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Friday, June 25, 2021

Of half a century of togetherness

(Note: I started writing this on the actual anniversary day of my parents..when I was feeling extremely sad to be so far away from them. But I never intended to finish writing it in day or in a jiffy. A story that has spanned 50 years, I needed my time to put it on paper. The only problem was ..everytime I started writing, my eyes would be flooded and mind overwhelmed. I hope I did justice to bring out some key elements from my parents' journey together)

He was a high school dropout, pulled into the family business too soon. She was BCom Hons in Economics whose final year exams were put on hold because a suitable match was found for her. And just like that, they were married. Settled into the joint family, she soon adjusted into the new family. A pampered daughter into her own family, became the oldest daughter -in-law in the family. Time passed on, they both had kids...3 daughters and a son. They were like fire and ice, she like a fire...being a strict mom, enforcing the rules and discipline for kids. He was like ice...the cool parent for the kids, always mellow, willing to bend the way his kids wanted him to. He was the parent who would quietly sign the late homework note for kids without letting their moms know. In an era when the feminist word was not even discovered, he would be the one who would let her wife go and care for her dad and stay back to take care of his 3 kids on his own. 

But then the winds changed. Times and circumstances made them leave their hometown and move to a totally different city and kind of start from scratch. They started on a high note...Everything looked good, new town, new beginnings, closer to family. It should have been good, right? But it was the calm before the storms. Because very soon, the tsunami waves started hitting and life went upside down. All of a sudden, they very own folks they trusted, turned their backs on them, some showed their true self and few others started trying to look for every possible way to pull them down to the rock bottom. 

And life did hit the very ultimate rock bottom for not only both of them but their four kids too. Life became a daily struggle, unsure for both of them as to where to start pulling it together. All this while, their 4 kids were watching this entire life drama play almost daily in front of them and unknowingly learning some very key lessons about money, people, relationships and how everything changes with time. 

Initially, they both stumbled and kind of started losing their control on things and felt helpless. But then, she decided to keep the fear of "what would everyone say" on the side and make every effort to bring things into control. She had two big tasks in front of her - one to keep sinking ship afloat and find ways to get to the coast, and second, to pave the ways for her kids' future despite everything being turned upside down. And the biggest one was to become the backbone for that one person who was so beaten down by circumstances but never showed it at all. It wasn't a task for the faintest hearts; it was not rosy at all. It was bumpy and scary ride. But they did, fell, stumbled and then again got up. Got again beaten down, sometimes by circumstances, sometimes by people they trusted, sometimes by their own mistakes. But the only thing that kept going was all 6 of them being there for each other. Life and its ways had changes a lot in those years; Some of the normalcies became luxuries and some different things became the new normal. they say you have to hit rock bottom before you can bounce back. So life was at the lowest point but they all kept hustling and swimming.

Over the next several years, things started to return to somewhat normal because the thing called life never stops, right !! The kids grew up, got settled into their career, got married. And each one of them took their own lessons from the turbulence and its repercussions they saw on the family. But the one lesson they all took away from this whole saga was the never faltering strength and support they had for each other. 

Now, they are both at a stage of life where have the time to sit back and reflect back on how it all unfolded. In good, bad and worse times, they gave up a lot and held on to each other and came out of the storm.  Sometimes, they have their own regrets on not being able to do things for the ones they love when it was time. But then it does not stop them from going overboard now when they can.

Theirs is not the only story I have seen unfold; I saw my nana nani, my amma -babaji, my chacha-chachi..all those stories too !! But theirs was the one I grew up watching so close and being so touched by it.  

As they marked a milestone in their journey this year, all I wish for them is maximum happiness and that feeling of peace and content that they so much deserve; to have the means and time to do what they always wanted to do for each other and their loved ones; to enjoy their time with their grandkids.

Love you Maa and Papa


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