Friday, April 18, 2014
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
What do you see when I stand in front of you
I'll tell you what I see when I stand in front of the mirror
I see a very tired mom who is yet to get a full night's sleep
I like to work in the late hours of night when everyone is sleep and it is so quiet.
So I end up going to bed the last. But I still haven't been able to get out of the habit of waking up in the middle of night. So I'll wake up a little after midnight, walking through the house like a zombie and checking each kid to make sure they haven't thrown away their covers or rolled off the bed. And then in the morning, I'll wake up even before my alarm rings just to get a head start on the day.
I see a very guilty mom who is trying to get a handle on the mile-long pending to-do list hanging over my head. Guilty of all the promises I have made to the kids to get so many things done but realizing soon that there are only 24 hours in the day and you can get only so much done in those 24 hours. Helping the older kid create his own email , helping him on his piano lessons, helping the younger kid make her cards for the upcoming teacher's appreciation week and so much more.
I see a very anxious person who is trying best to prioritize several things in life but somehow not everything is falling into its place.
I see a very homesick person who sometimes thinks about leaving everything and going back to where she belongs: her home with the loved ones.
It's just one of those days when we I am not liking what I see in the mirror there.
Either need to change the mirror or my own perception to look at it.
The ultimate choice is mine.
Monday, April 14, 2014
For my graduate studies, I stayed in a girl's hostel for 3 years. Those 3 years away from home in a very conservative town taught me a lot of new things. I made so many new friends, faced so many setbacks and learnt so many things about relationships; most importantly that not everything is what it looks like on surface.
As I jot down these stories here, I need to say that in no manner, am I trying to judge any of the folks mentioned here. I was not in their shoes, so I cannot even imagine what we're the circumstances that led to way finally those stories turned to.
A close friend A, right from the first day claimed his unrequited love for a girl from his neighborhood. Always bought gifts for her when went back home. But finally ended up marrying someone else and the reason was "the girl wanted to be a working professional. And I didn't my mom to be cooking in the kitchen even after having a bahu in the house" and the funniest part, ever since he got married, he never stayed in his home town. He has been travelling for his own work with his family while his parents stayed in the home town.
Sunday, April 13, 2014
A MIL who never treated her daughter in law well, leave alone respect. Made her life a living hell. Sure enough, when the younger daughter in law made an entry, she didn't even give the mil a chance to treat her anyway. From day 1, she turned the tables onto her and put dear mil on the receiving end.
Or the lady in my neighborhood who never stopped gossiping about every person on the street and passing judgment about every decision made in any family. Few years down the lane and her own daughter decided to marry outside of her community and outside of the caste too. All the neighbors and relatives who had "earned" her feedback spared no opportunity to offer their detailed advice, gossip and criticism to her.
Some people may dismiss karma as a way of just accepting the things just the way they are and not doing anything about it. But that uncertainty happens in so many other aspects of life. So why not just change the perspective of looking and dealing with that uncertainty.
Friday, April 11, 2014
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Remember, in school as you graduated from 8th grade to 9th grade, all of a sudden you earned a new privilege: that you could do you school assignments in pen. No more hassles of keeping sharpened pencils,an eraser and a spare pencil sharpener in your pencil box. You could be the "cool kid" with a fancy pen to show off.
But wait, the very first day of school supply shopping, mom rolls out the policy: "Those fancy gel pens and ball point pens make your handwriting go bad. So you'll start with an ink pen". What??????
All those dreams of finally getting one of those colorful reynolds pen for yourself is gone?
Yes, dad gives you one of the basic ink pens and your shelf is also stocked with a bottle of royal blue Camlin ink to start your day at school.
The first day you come back with blue ink smeared all over your hands, your copies, even your school uniform. And you absolutely hate it.
But as you continue using this new writing tool, you start loving it. The way it writes it seems as if the words are flowing out and just arranging themselves on the paper. You start loving the little stain it leaves on the inside of your ring finger.
And then one day, dad opens up his collection of the finest Chinese ink pens that he had been collecting and asks you to pick one. With the elated feeling, you choose the sea blue colored one with a shiny golden cap. You treasure it more than anything and write with it with more pride than what any Governor General would ever had (I am not kidding, I used to think of myself so special as a kid, obviously in my imaginations)
And since then, I never hated those ink pens or those ink stains. If given a chance today, I would prefer to use one today too. I still like to maintain a paper journal with a pen in my bag. But, ironically, too much technology (storyboards) and convenience have taken prominence in our lives.