No Sorry, No Thank You !! Really?

Yeah, that's what Suman said to Prem in MPK

"Dosti ka ek usool hai, no sorry, no thank you!!"

Well, this rule may be applicable in friendship, but when it comes to our everyday life, we all know how a unanticipated sorry or an unexpected thank you goes a long way.

Sometimes, they make a day for some one; Sometimes, they redefine your attitude towards that person.
However, why is it that when it comes to the people who we are closest to, our spouse, our kids, our siblings, our parents -- that we tend to overlook these simple gestures?

This morning, I had to be at work at 9 sharp for an important meeting. Generally I get at work around 9:15 AM. So it was a matter of getting early 15 minutes. But, you see, my morning schedule is tied to at what time Aayush wakes up,how much tantrums he throws for brushing his teeth, how soon can he tell me what he wants for breakfast, how much time does it take for him to decide whether he wants to wear a Monkey George jacket today or an Elmo socks.

So, between all these, sqeezing 15 minutes seemed like a bit little difficult. But at the same time, I desperately wanted to show up for my meeting in time.

So, when Aayush woke up, and I had my little morning talk with him, I explained to him that Mommy had to get to work a little early today and if he could be a good boy for me today, I would be so happy.

He gave me a big grin and said: "Okay, Mommy, lets get ready fast, otherwise you'll be late!!"

And bingo, we were out of the house, all ready by 8:32 and I was at my work at 8:57 AM.And that's when in the car (luckily before I dropped him), it struck me and I turned around

(No, don't worry, I was stopping at a red light) : "Aayush, Thank you. "

He smiled and said: "Why, mommy?"

And me: "Because you were good today and you helped me get to my office in time"

I could tell from his face that he was proud and happy for his little achievement at the same time !!
This was one opportunity and fortunately I acted in time and told my son what I felt.But how many times have I thanked my husband when he (without me asking him to do so) kept my office laptop in the car in the morning before leaving for his work?

Or when he lets me sleep an extra 15 minutes on Saturday while he takes Aayush to the bathroom?

Or how many times have I thanked my sister for getting up all sleepy eyed in the middle of the night when I wanted to talk to her when it is day time for me?

or my mom for searching 10 different shops "that perfect peacock blue bangles" that matched my latest dress?
Is it that when we are too close to poeple, we take them for granted and we get so comfortable that we forget life's basic courtseys?

Or is it that open expression is not a part of our culture?

Or is it that we that these things bring a sense of formality in relations?

For me, I know I cannot say "Love you" to my spouse on phone when I am talking to him from my work(which is very common among the people here)

And I somehow do not very comfortable saying "Love you" to my mom or dad

And that's just because that's the way I grew up. I can express myself to them in hundreds other unspoken ways, but can never say this to them in words.

On the other hand, Aayush says "I love you" to me and his dad almost everyday before leaving for school, before going to bed !

Do you see the contrast here? Does that sound very unusual?
Not expressing verbally can sometimes create rifts in relationships too !! and no, I am not talking about the married relations only!!

I know of a close relative, who is not on speaking terms with my family, because he feels that we do not consider him a part of our family. This is irrespective of the fact that my parents consider him a part of the family more than a few of other relations !!

But just because this was never expressed in words, the confusion and misunderstandings have gotten so complex that it is beyond explanation now.

So, what's your expression style?

More verbal or expressive?

Do you also think we take too much liberty with the ones we are closest too?

Do you also feel that these phrases make a very close relation a little too formal?

Would love to know what you all think..

Till then, me also thinking .....
Dil se

Expectations

A very good point in this little boy's response. I just love him :-)

Why, Oh Why?

Why, Oh why does it happen that:

a) On weekdays, I am making lists of things to do on Weekends and on Sunday, I am making lists of things to do on weekdays?

b) I get to spend more time with my son on the days when he gets sick or in case of inclement weather but not on regular weekends?

c) The things/people I want to forget, I can never forget them and when I want to remember deadline for one important thing (renew library DVDs, pay my bills), I tend to forget that?

d) Why does even an hour of Me time for myself come with so much of guilt? "Should I go today or may be some time later?""Will he be okay? Will he look for me?""Will he eat his lunch okay without me?""He won't cry, will he?"

e) I start my conversation with my mom as "Bus sub as usual hai maa !!" And then we talk for like hours about all the unusual things going on in our life !!

Does it happen to you too?

Finger painting craft ideas

Now that Aayush is growing up, I need a variety of activities to keep him busy all the times. And one of his favorite activities is paint colors, and that too getting them messy, on his hands, clothes, carpet everywhere !!
When he is in such a mood for mess, some finger painting ideas come in handy.
Here are some of the drawings I have tried with him. One of them was the one they did at his school and we recreated it at home also over a weekend.

1) Finger painted giraffe

a) Print a single yellow handprint. The palm forms the body, the fingers the legs and the thumb forms the tail.
b) Then using the side of the hand, print the neck and add a fingerprint for the head.
c) When the yellow paint is dried, use brown fingerprints to make the giraffe’s spots.

2) Caterpillar and the flowers:















a) Create the caterpillar using thumbprint with alternating colors
b) For the flower, use 4 thumbprints for the petals and 2 for leaves.
c) For the butterfly, use 4 prints of the same color
d) Similarly, created sun using the index finger prints in circle.
e) Once all the colors are dried, Finish the butterfly, caterpillar and the flowers using a black marker.

So, go ahead and give these crafts a try with your little ones and see how much they enjoy it.

And, this is my submission to Artsy craftsy challenge by Mindful Meanderings too.

Catch you all later
Dil se

I am back

I am back, from the vacation, from the jetlag, from the daunting task of unpacking after a trip to India. (Yes, unpacking after a trip to India is tiring but equally exciting !! Gosh, how come Moms have so many things to give to their daughters? How come they can think of every small thing I might need here which may not be available in my city? From home dried methi, that new style bangles I'd like, or winter warmers for the little baby and what not !! The list goes on and on and on !!)
and my Dad, I promise, if he had his contacts at United States customs office, he'd pack a dozen of suitcases for me filled with all his favorite sweets !! ladoo, revdi,gacchak,patisa, nariyal burfi, kaju burfi, khoya laddoo, gajar burfi, boora, shakkar and the list just does not end.
Gosh, sometimes I wonder, why did a problem like high sugar had to come on such a sweet Dad of mine.

And did I miss my blog? sometimes I did, and some times not!! I missed it when I saw something/someone touched me when I was there. But otherwise, I tried to stay away as much as possible from the computer during my vacation.
But now that I am back, I have lots to write and share with you all.
And I have a long list of posts to read too. I promise to get back on track soon and be in touch with you all again.

And the end of my vacation also marked the end of the year.
Here's wishing a very happy and propserous new year to all my friends.
May all your dreams and wishes come true and have a great time in the days to come.

Will be back soon.
Till then

Dil se

8 X 8

• No, no this is not the size of any of the windows in my house :-) This is the tag I got from Nancy. and I was kind of in a rush to get this done, because then I have this big vacation to India coming up !! Yay !! So here, it goes:
  8 TV shows I like to watch
  I hardly get some time to catch up on my favorite shows. But whenever I do , I love these:
• The Metalist: I love Patrick Jane, everything about him.
• The good wife: This one is a new series on CBS and it is about the wife of a politicain who
  gets caught in a sex scandal. Love the wife Alicia Florrick's character.
• Grey's Anatomy: McDreamy and Meredith Grey, what else can I say?
• Desperate housewives: My husband just hates this program and I just love it :-)
• Cold case: I somehow love the the programs involving case investigations and this one is
  a bit different in that sense.
• Friends, Everybody loves Raymond: Although these programs are off the air now, but I love to watch their reruns anytime.
• Test Kitchen: Only when they show some baking recipes or a good vegetarin recipe
• Antique Roadshow: People bring their antiques to appraisers on this show and get the value of their antiques appriased. It is interesting to see the story or the value of some antiques on it. (I searched all my closets to find a worthy "antique" but came up only with old clothes/shoes/bags :-)
  
  
  8 favourite places to eat
• Definitely, the first one would be at my mom's place when all my sisters and brother gather and we all take a seat on the living room floor with our food.
• In my own kitchen, with my son and husband, with my son's jokes and laughter.
• Being a vegatarian, I don't have a whole lot places to eat outside. I love mexican food and
  specially, the Chipotle.
• Among the India resturant in my city, I love "New Krishna" They have lots of variety on their menu and the ambience and taste is too good.
• Back home, I love "paranthe wali gali" in Delhi.All sorts of stuffed paranthe, followed by
  jalebi with rabdi, just yummm
• I love Chinese food too,remember those vans in Delhi. I just love the chowmein, the soup and the manchurian
• I inherited my sweet tooth from my Dad and my craving for chaat papdi from my Mom. So guess which is my favorite place to stop by when going to my mom's place(faridabad)? Yeah Haldiram's on the Delhi Mathura Road.
• I also like south India cuisine and one of my fav places for south indian cusine here is the
  Udipi resturant.
  
  
  8 things I look forward to
• Aayush's voice shouting "Mommy" as soon as I open the door in my house every evening
• A Saturday night when I can be up till late and watch all the TV I want to
• A hot cup of tea early morning on the weekends (Not made by me !!)
• A quiet moment with myself at the end of the day
• A quiet and chore-free holiday
• Change the layout of my house a bit
• Summers, so I can get my lawn back in shape.
  
  
  8 things that happened yesterday
• Paid all my bills online
• Got a call from a friend after a long time, since she was gone to India
• Ate my lunch away from the computer, for a change
• Talked to my mom on the phone for about 25 mins, even though I was late for my work.
• Cleaned up my desk
• Stood in the office parking lot for a few minutes to watch the sun going down
• Made veggie quesadilla for dinner, thinking that would be quick, but then my son demanded aloo paranthas and was back to square one again.
• Went to bed early for a change, to catch on some lost zzzz's
  
  
  8 things I love about winter
• Hot steaming coffee and cappucino
• Enjoying sun on Sunday afternoons
• When all the empty stems of the trees are frozen and they look as if someone put a layer of
  glass on them.
• Garma garam gajar ka halwa!! Yes, it is the season to have it.
• Layering up in jackets and sweaters
• Warm showers
• Holiday shopping, Christmas lights and decorations all around.
• Weeklong shutdown at work(this should have been the first one)
  
  
  8 things on my wishlist
• To find time to read books, just like I used to do it (before my son came along and then I switched to 101 Dalmatians and Barneys)
• To be more regular on my blog
• To reconnect to all my old friends
• To spend more time with Aayush, doing all sorts of activities
• To find time for my creative hobbies
• Go back to India and be with my family and friends
• Start a home based business of my own
• Redo my wardrobe all over.
  
  
  8 things I am passionate about
• Music, and that too Bollywood music
• My car, yeah I love my car !!
• Playing computer gamesd) Google (yeah I google everything and anything !!Wish there was a google for seaches like "I am feeling blue today. why?")
• My family
• My beliefs and my values
• Anything that I want to do.
  
  
  8 words or phrases I use often
• Oh my God
• Are ... lekin..
• Do you love mommy?
• Did you do this?
• It's okay.
• Thank you
• I am going to say this once only.
• Okay, but only 5 more minutes.
  
  
  8 things I learnt from the past
• Think and then speak. Yes, you save a lot of fights that way.
• It is not always necessary to speak the truth. Some times, Somethings are just better left
  unsaid.
• Distances do affect your relationships
• Money is not everything for life, but it is an important thing for life
• Sometimes, just act on your gut feeling instead of trying to logic it out. In most of the
  cases, you will be right.
• Some friends are forever. and you don't even need to talk to them everyday or even everyweek.
• Nothing remains the same in life. Everything changes - Relations, Position, your dreams,
  aspirations, your priorities,your likes, dislikes, everything changes with time.
• In order to achieve something in life, you need to set your priorities right.
  
  
  8 places I would love to go, visit or see
• Kashmir, India
• Goa, India
• Varanasi, India (I spent 3 most wonderful years of my life there, so I want to go back there and try to visualize some of those moments)
• Ranchi, India (I was botn there and grew up in that place, so I want to go back and see the
  changes that city had gone through in all these years)
• Paris - I love shopping, what else can I say !!
• Nightout in Newyork
• A trip to Europe - I looked so magical in DDLJ. Okay, so I know there won'tbe any SRK there but hey, I'd still love the explore the place.
• Mumbai - Yeah, I have never been to this wonderful place and want to experience the magic once
  
  
  8 things I currently need or want
• A nice pair of sandals
• Some music CDs
• Wash my car one of these days
• Find a (shortcut and sure, if possible) way to loose that weight !!
• Meet my old friends, when I am in India.
• Spend lots of time with my brothers and sisters and mom and dad on my trip to India
• Learn to Control my temper/anger
• Take life one day at a time and not be freaked out about tomorrow.
  
  
  As for who I want to tag, I'll let the readers decide for themselves if they want to pick up the tag. Do try it, it is fun and it lets you think about yourself a lot.

Bachpan

Aaah.. just the mention of it brings back so many memories, kuch khaati kuch meethi ..
Such were those days !! Most of my childhood memories are filled around my 2 sisters R and S and lil kiddo brother (He is all married now but for me, still that lil kid, even today)
a) I am the boss
So, these stories go back to the times when it was just 3 of us.And we were like ages 5-6-7 yrs (yeah all 3 of us are a year apart) And because I was the eldest of them, so R and S just accepted whatever crazy explanations I used to give them for all their questions. Every year, during our
summer vacations, we used to come to Delhi to my Nani's place. And the most exciting part of that used to be the 30 hour train journey from Ranchi to Delhi. So, in the train, all 3 of us used to take turns to sit on the window side. We loved to see through lots of fields, stations, huts ... Loved the "white puri (Aka chole bhatoore) at Kanpur station

And one of the interesting things we used to observe was lots of those "star shaped electrical grids". So my "obviously curious" sisters asked me "Mona, Do you know what are these?"

And Ms Mona(yeah, that's me) could never say "I don't know" to any of those questions.

So despite being a 7 yr old myslef, my "intelligent reply" to them was "You see, on Dusshera,you have seen how they burn the Ravan and Meghnad, so these are the frames that are left over after they have burnt those?"
R & S (together, with a weird surprise look) - Really? But why would they burn Ravan near the train lines and so far away from houses?
Me (Feeling very proud, that I have an answer for that too) - Are budhuu !! they do it so that no one gets burn when the Ravans are burnt !!
And they would be so excited, that they counted all the "so called Ravans" throughout the train ride. And now years later, till today, they tease me about that "explanation" I gave them :-)

Any explanation I give to them, is compared to that "response" to rate it on a stupidity scale !!

b) Okay, so this incident relates to my lil brother M. As per my mom, I was the spoiling factor for my brother. (Now tell me, was I spoiling him if I used to do his homework with my left hand when he was getting late in the morning, or covering his copies with brown cover, so that the teacher would not reject his homework, giving him chocolates from my share of money which mamaji used to give me when he used to visit us ??)

Anyways, that's still a debate factor between me and my mom. So one fine afternoon, based on some arguement with mom,he decides that no one loves him in the family and he just doesn't want to live here. So he packs his stuff (which consisted of a box filled with all sorts of colorful marbles, stickers and one of his fav T shirt) and gets out of the house. My mom never pampered her kids, when they threatened her about 2 things: Leaving the house and not eating the food.

So my mom was really cool and I was getting all teary eyed, asking my mom to stop him. And my mom's response was: "He has to realize himself to come back. So just wait and watch and see him come back"
(all this while,my 2 sisters are watching the entire saga and giggling saying "In dono ke drame to hamesha chalu rehte hai !!")
It was a hot summer afternoon in Delhi. We had a park just opposite our house. So M goes there and sits on a bench for some time. Then, I guess he gets thirsty, so he got up and tried to get a sip of water from one of the taps in the park. As you can guess, he did not like that hot water (as
compared to gulping water straight from the fridge water bottle). So he sits there for a while again and then rings the bell at home. I run to answer it, but my mom stops me in between and asks him "Kaun hai? Kya chahiye? (Who is it? What do you want?)"
And M replies: "Ek pani ki bottle to de do!!"
And my mom says "Ghar par aakar apne aap le jao"
He decides he doesn't want it and goes away again. And all through this, I am all hysteric as to what will happen to my lil brother.So he finally roams around in the street for about 45 mins more, then may be realises that the streets are all deserted and it is all hot and humid. So, he finally rings the bell again and says "Yeh mat samajhna ki main wapas aa gaya hoon.Main sirf abhi sone aaya hoon. Uthkar fir se chala jaoonga !!(Don't think I have come back. I am just here to take a nap. I'll leave again after I get up)"
And the rest, you can imagine, what would have happened !! He didn't even remember that he had to leave after he got up. His friends came to call him for their street cricket game and the day just went off. At dinner time, when we reminded him to leave, he was all embarrased and just ignored us !! We tease him till today for that and that fella has one standard answer :Are, teeno behno ka byaah jo karna tha na, isliye ruk gaya :-)" (I just came back because I had 3 sisters to marry off !!)

c) Hum Teen
It was the time when I was probably 8 yrs old and we were still in Ranchi at that time. And my mom had to go to Delhi urgently for a week because my Nanaji was ill. so she asked a lady to cook for us.And instructed all 3 of us to take care of ourselves and my dad properly. And also not to miss school or homework. And again (as always), I was the eldest, so the responsibility was on me to make sure that the other 2 did not create any panga.
So, the day, my mom was to leave, we all went to the railway station to board her in the train. And just as the train had left, we realised, that the home keys were gone with Mom. But the train was also gone.Anyways, so my dad came up with an idea. The train to Delhi from Ranchi also went to few of the other closeby stations like Patratu and Ramgarh.So my dad asked one of his workers to drive to one of those stations and see if he could get the keys from my Mom there. However, all those efforts were futile. so, we came back and now we are trying to find a way to get into our home.So dad gets a ladder, and tried to get into the house through one of the other verendah we had. and he does.Finally, we are in the house. Then the cooking lady's son comes and informs us that she slipped in her house and she won't be able to come and cook
for us !! All of us, including my dad, look at each other's face as to "What do we do now?" (Remember, that was not the era of Maggi/McDonalds/Pizza)
But, me being the eldest, blart off: "Don't worry , Papa. Hum kuch bhi bana lenge !!"And all 3 of us get into the kitchen and make "Aadhi kachi aadhi pakki" rotis and aloo matar sabzi.And my ever darling dad ate that khana, without even letting us know that mirchi was too much and salt was too less. My mom called us back as soon as she reached Delhi (next morning, again remember, that was the era of no-cellphone)
She was not told anything till she came back. She didn't even realize that the keys were gone with her till after a few days.But we 4 had great fun with dad during those days. Hewould come back home from work early every day and take us for a softy at Firayalal.
Those were the days... they were really golden !!I can go on and on and on about those
But I'll be back soon with more stories....Till then
Dil se