Friday, April 18, 2014

O is for Open mindedness

P.S: This is my make up post for yesterday when my sleep took over me and I could not blog.

"Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one".
- Malcolm S. Forbes

But I tend to disagree with the above quote. Because I don't think only education is the medium that opens up your mind. In my journey so far, I have seen so many highly educated people, yeh with their thoughts and thinking so limited and closed. And have also come across folks who cannot be tagged as "highly educated" and yet have changed their ways and opened their minds to newer ideas and thoughts like no one else could.

How can a father, who 
- fights with the entire army of relatives and known by, just so that his daughter can  go and work in a completely new and different city after completing her studies because thats what her education is meant for, 
- trusts her daughters and gives them the liberty to take their decisions about their jobs and career
- Gives them the freedom to travel anywhere within the city at any time of day
- Questions the practices of his own religion and shuns the one which do not make sense or do not seem practical in today's times

be not an open minded person? That too, when he has changed a new leaf from the times when he restricted his own sisters from going to movies with the family in anything other than "traditional salwar suits"?

On the other hand, consider the so called "highly educated folks" who:
- Would not let their daughter in laws go anywhere without them escorting them to the rickshaw/bus stand to "protect" them.
- Make the smallest of decision for their kids, heck even what they should want to eat (and trust me, this is absolutely true, I have personally seen this happening)
- Have double standards openly followed in the house - one for their own daughters and other for  the daughters they married their sons to.
- Blindly follow the traditions and customs of religion, without once questioning them or reasoning them.

Sorry, they may be educated officers or what not, but in my opinion, they are the most closed minded folks out there.

PS: Sorry, if the tone of my post seems like a "rant" because it actually is. 

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

N is for Na Jaane Kyon

Remember this song from the movie "chhoti si baat"

Na jaane kyuun, hota hai yun zindagi ke saath
Achanak yeh mann kisi ke jaane ke baad
Kare Phir uski yaad
Chhoti chhoti si baad

And isn't it so true !! We do not realise the importance of some people in our life as long as they are in front of us. We take them for granted.Only after they are gone, do we realise the void they create in our lives and we become aware of what we have lost.
But then sometimes, it may be too late to change the things back to how they were. What's gone may be gone forever.

Savour what you have in life today and do not let what you treasure get lost. sometime, it may be all you have; you just may not be realising it today.

I have lost many friends in this journey of life; some due to my own misgivings; some due to situations. Could I have done something then? May be, I don't know. But I do know that I do remember them in every small things related to them. In the virtual world of social media, I do see them everyday, but I just cannot muster up enough courage to try to create those links back. 

Cherish your today. Treasure the loved ones you have.
Kya pata, kal ho na ho!

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

M is for mirror

Mirror mirror on the wall
What do you see when I stand in front of you
I'll tell you what I see when I stand in front of the mirror

I see a very tired mom who is yet to get a full night's sleep
I like to work in the late hours of night when everyone is sleep and it is so quiet.
So I end up going to bed the last. But I still haven't been able to get out of the habit of waking up in the middle of night. So I'll wake up a little after midnight, walking through the house like a zombie and checking each kid to make sure they haven't thrown away their covers or rolled off the bed. And then in the morning, I'll wake up even before my alarm rings just to get a head start on the day.

I see a very guilty mom who is trying to get a handle on the mile-long pending to-do list hanging over my head. Guilty of all the promises I have made to the kids to get so many things done but realizing soon that there are only 24 hours in the day and you can get only so much done in those 24 hours. Helping the older kid create his own email , helping him on his piano lessons, helping the younger kid make her cards for the upcoming teacher's appreciation week and so much more.

I see a very anxious person who is trying best to prioritize several things in life but somehow not everything is falling into its place.

I see a very homesick person who sometimes thinks about leaving everything and going back to where she belongs: her home with the loved ones.

It's just one of those days when we I am not liking what I see in the mirror there.
Either need to change the mirror or my own perception to look at it.
The ultimate choice is mine.

Monday, April 14, 2014

L is for Love Stories

Love stories – we have all seen them in movies, read them in novels and books, some of them we ourselves starred into.
But the ones I am talking here are the ones I saw them unfolding and blooming over course of time.

 For my graduate studies, I stayed in a girl's hostel for 3 years. Those 3 years away from home in a very conservative town taught me a lot of new things. I made so many new friends, faced so many setbacks and learnt so many things about relationships; most importantly that not everything is what it looks like on surface.

As I jot down these stories here, I need to say that in no manner, am I trying to judge any of the folks mentioned here. I was not in their shoes, so I cannot even imagine what we're the circumstances that led to way finally those stories turned to.

A close friend A, right from the first day claimed his unrequited love for a girl from his neighborhood. Always bought gifts for her when went back home. But finally ended up marrying someone else and the reason was "the girl wanted to be a working professional. And I didn't my mom to be cooking in the kitchen even after having a bahu in the house" and the funniest part, ever since he got married, he never stayed in his home town. He has been travelling for his own work with his family while his parents stayed in the home town.

Another friends S & R, whose love story seemed too filmi and too dramatic to be true, they made it against all the odds and ended up being together. Seeing their pictures, married and with cute kids (thanks to FB) reminded me how we used to make fun of their hand holding, hour long talks outside hostel gate and all the cute gifts in girl's room.

Another friend M, who was the most introvert in our group and whom we last imagined to have a great, fell flat into love, that too at first sight with the girl he met at a relative's wedding. Even years after they have been married with 2 cute kids, I still remember the day he told us and we all coaxed him into going to meet her to her place. That too with her parents and her brother and sisters in the house.

These are just some of the stories I watched happening over a span of time. Many more happened, some with happy endings, some with not so happy ones. But in the end, life just keeps going on. 

Sunday, April 13, 2014

K is for karma

Do you believe in karma? I do and that too very firmly. I have seen situations in life proving that what goes around, eventually does come around. So when I find myself in a situation, helpless at the selfish and calculating behavior of someone I trusted, those are times when I have to sit back and wait for karma to show its effects sooner or later.


A MIL who never treated her daughter in law well, leave alone respect. Made her life a living hell. Sure enough, when the younger daughter in law made an entry, she didn't even give the mil a chance to treat her anyway. From day 1, she turned the tables onto her and put dear mil on the receiving end.

Or the lady in my neighborhood who never stopped gossiping about every person on the street and passing judgment about every decision made in any family. Few years down the lane and her own daughter decided to marry outside of her community and outside of the caste too. All the neighbors and relatives who had "earned" her feedback spared no opportunity to offer their detailed advice, gossip and criticism to her.

Some people may dismiss karma as a way of just accepting the things just the way they are and not doing anything about it. But that uncertainty happens in so many other aspects of life. So why not just change the perspective of looking and dealing with that uncertainty.



Friday, April 11, 2014

J is for jeene ke ishare

This song, which I love so much.




P.S: Today is just one of those days when I am dead tired, yet I didn't want to out of schedule on the A to Z challenge.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

I is for the ink pen

So do you like to write? With what kind of pen? Wait, before you brush me off as someone crazy asking crazy questions, hear me out.



Remember, in school as you graduated from 8th grade to 9th grade, all of a sudden you earned a new privilege: that you could do you school assignments in pen. No more hassles of keeping sharpened pencils,an eraser and a spare pencil sharpener in your pencil box. You could be the "cool kid" with a fancy pen to show off.

But wait, the very first day of school supply shopping, mom rolls out the policy: "Those fancy gel pens and ball point pens make your handwriting go bad. So you'll start with an ink pen". What??????
All those dreams of finally getting one of those colorful reynolds pen for yourself is gone?
Yes, dad gives you one of the basic ink pens and your shelf is also stocked with a bottle of royal blue Camlin ink to start your day at school.
The first day you come back with blue ink smeared all over your hands, your copies, even your school uniform. And you absolutely hate it.

But as you continue using this new writing tool, you start loving it. The way it writes it seems as if the  words are  flowing out and just arranging themselves on the paper. You start loving the little stain it leaves on the inside of your ring finger.

And then one day, dad opens up his collection of the finest Chinese ink pens that he had been collecting and asks you to pick one. With the elated feeling, you choose the sea blue colored one with a shiny golden cap. You treasure it more than anything and write with it with more pride than what any Governor General would ever had (I am not kidding, I used to think of myself so special as a kid, obviously in my imaginations)

And since then, I never hated those ink pens or those ink stains. If given a chance today, I would prefer to use one today too. I still like to maintain a paper journal with a pen in my bag. But, ironically, too much technology (storyboards) and convenience have taken prominence in our lives.