Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Once upon a time

Today, I want to tell a story, a story about some one I know and used to know. As you read the story, you'll know why I used the terms "I know" and "used to know".
Because as we know people, over time, people change and along with that, our perceptions about them also change. So, I will not begin by saying that all characters in this story are fictional and any resemblance is coincidental. because it is not.

So the person I knew, lets call her "S", I was very close to her and she was also fond of me (or at least I think so). So, my first impression of her was a very naive and well protected girl. After all, the youngest daughter in the family with 2 elder brothers, what else would you expect. I saw her struggling with grades,  overprotected by her mother on any and every tantrum she threw and nagged by her father on every small thing. So, my observation about her was that of a very mommy girl, with no mind or thinking of hers.
And as time passed, several other incidents kind of confirmed my observation and impression of hers.
I saw her eating food as per her mom's choice, selecting clothes as per her mom's choice, even making career and job choices as per her mom's choices.
May be there's no wrong in that, but the background I came from, I never needed my mom's permission to do things, I cared to inform her about what I was doing.

Anyhow, so coming back to her story, cut to the time and S is now at an age when parents  start looking for a match for the girl. So her parents also started the search. And like all girls object saying "I do not want to get married now, I want to wait" she also said that but I always thought that the first match her parents and brothers find for her, as long as her mother had an approval stamp on it, it will be a sure shot match and it will be "chat mangni pat byaah"

For a long time then, I got caught up with happenings in my own life and could not observe or care about a lot happening in her life. Finally, when I did get a chance to catch up, I was curious to know what happened to her and how her life turned out. And there I had the shock of my life.

I found out that she, one day, out of blue announced to her parents that she had already found a match for herself and she wanted to get married to only that guy and no one else.  
No, no... it was not a shock because of what she announced. I was shocked to see it coming from her and also shocked to see how the events unfolded them later. The guy she had selected was found to be of completely different caste than her own family. So in a way, her parents just decided to disown her if she did not leave that guy. But she was adamant on just one thing: Either him or no one else.

I guess, more than anything else, I was most surprised by the transformation I saw in that girl. I remembered that meek, not so confident and decided girl.
Was it time that changed her so much or was it love ?
I definitely think it is the later !!

After a complete episode of all sorts of bollywood style dramas and rona dhona, the parents finally gave in and now they are getting ready to tie the knot in near future.
As for me, I am kind of torn in my feelings. I am happy for her but not so happy at her choice. Don't get me wrong, I don' even care about the caste or the religion. It's just that when I met this guy for the first time, he just didn't leave "that" good impression. But, as they say
"Jab miya biwi raazi to kya karega kaazi"
So who cares, I am just an outsider, just watching and making observations
About things and people in life, as I see them
As I like/not so like them

Let's wish her all the very best in life :-)

Dil se


Samvedna said...

I wish her all the best ! may god protect her ! As she has for the first time in life chosen something on her own and stood her ground..for that reason also may god bless her with all the happiness!

Chatterbox said...

Excellent point Samvedna :)
I wish her good luck for a bright and wonderful future. People change drastically as they grow up and get a first hand experience of the world beyond the confines of home and school.
I just hope her decision turns out to be the right one and may she find happiness in the days to come :)

Swaram said...

Samvedna and CB said it for me ... best wishes from my side too :)

Smita said...

I believe that when somebody is overprotected they might take to it upto a time but when they break free they usually go into another extreme! They become extremely gullible!!

Anyways good luck to her :)

Mumbai Diva said...

i wish parents would understand that it is important to give some amount of freedom to their children or there will be a rebellion, at some point or the other.

I wish your friend all the best for her future.

Dil se said...

@Samvedna, @chatterbox: Very right. This is really the first time I saw her making a decision for herself. So, I so hope she finds happiness in it.

Dil se said...

@Swaram: Thank you !!

Dil se said...

@Smita:And that's exactly what my fear is too in this case. Time will only tell.

Dil se said...

@MD: In this case, the person itself was equally responsible for the situation. The parents, specially the mom has been really possessive but at a certain point, the daughter should have taken a stand for herself. And she did, but instead of starting on small decision, she did on such a big life changing one !!
I hope it works out best for her.