Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Confessions of a second time mom

Yes, I am back, sort of !! Can't say completely back to my world of blogging, since my li'l one is still very little. And I have miles to go before I am done with the again-trying-to-get-used-to schedules of midnight feedings, 5 hour sleeps and "where-did-my-whole-day-go" routine.

Now, that I am in my post-preg status, for all those ever-so-optimsitic readers of my blog (who still come to my blog hoping I'd write someday), I have some confessions to make.
(Now let me warn you, these confessions may be the result of all those hormonal mish-mash going inside me, so what I confess today may not be valid let's say a month from now)

a) Surprise, surprise, surprise...I am missing being pregnant.Yes truly, really I am. Despite all those back aches, leg cramps, every damn discomfort I had which my doctors very easily termed as this-is-normal-in-this-phase, I am missing it. I am missing those kicks, that flutter, that feeling of someone being inside me and me and just me being the one having her.

b) I have days when I feel really really guilty for my older kid. All of a sudden, I have noticed a lot of changes in him, the mature way he handled the coming of a new born in the house, the way he adjusted and welcomed the baby and is willing to share everything with her and the exclusive love he feels for her.
Despite all this, on the days when I am not able to give him the attention I used to give him earlier, I feel guilty and am overwhelmed with it.

c) This pregnancy has calmed me down in ways I never thought I could be. I used to be so restless, so angry at certain things in life. But all of a sudden I have this feeling of content and peace which I may not be able to express but I just feel inside.

d) I can survive without sleep, without taking shower for 3 days in a row, survive in a milk stained t-shirt till evening but I just cannot survive without COFFEE. Since I am nursing, so I am fighting every urge I have to eat the foods that can cause discomfort to my girl and coffee being one of them. But I miss it so much; the flavor, the aroma. I have stopped passing in front of a Starbucks store, just because that pleasant aroma and the environment kills me at this time.

e) Every time the grandma (my MIL) makes a comment that my little girl looks just like her son (my husband) or her daughter (my SIL), I'll silently nod along but repeat this to myself under my breath: "Nopes, she is just me in all respect!!"

This phase, time time is precious and will never come back in my life. So I am savoring each and every moment of it. The tiredness, the fatigue, the sleeplessness: all have taken a back seat.
The only thing that is killing me in the back of my mind is how will I go back to work. But that is the matter for another post, another day. Till then, enjoy this:

So we have an Indian restaurant in our area (in fact the only One in our area) and one of the servers there is very talkative and friendly to my son. He is not so good at Hindi, still he manages to speak some hindi to the Indian customers that come there. Two days before my delivery date, my husband was there to pick up some food. That server walks to my husband and asks: "Aap doosre baap ban gaye? (Are you the second father yet?)" when he actually wanted to ask "Is your second kid already here?"
My husband was laughing so hard, he only nodded No on his question and came out.
I still tease my husband as "doosre baap"


BK Chowla, said...

My best wishes to you and the new addition in your family

Shilpa Garg said...

Wow! Congratulations to the new mommy!! And best wishes to the lil one! Enjoy all the joys of motherhood again!! Have a great time, nurturing your lil ones!! :))

Reflections said...


Enjoy it while it lasts....seriously time just flies when we are having fun.
When my first was born I was more nervous and was busy trying to do everything right but with my 2nd one I learned to enjoy the experience:-). Sometimes I almost feel like having another one just for the baby smell...those tiny hands & feet, the cuddling, the singing them to sleep....ooooh I miss it sooo much;-)

Dil se said...

@BK Chowla: Thanks so much for the wishes.

@Shilpa Garg: Thanks Shilpa.
@Reflections: Thanks Nancy. You are right, with the second one I have tried to more go with the flow and just enjoy the time with her. And the new baby smell.. yes I completely support that statement !! What say...considering one now ? :-))